IC INBOX

[maskintape]

It's Tim. I guess I'm busy, so... Leave a message.

Comments

[armoured]

[What--?

He knows there was some joke made, if only because of Tim's weird wheeze laughing, but he has literally no idea what it was.]

Please don't call me that again.

[Why must he have to deal with Tim Wright? Why did he keep persisting in a friendship?]

It might be easier, but it's really not true. Especially not the zombie part.

[maskintape]

Okay, it's - it's a thing, back home. A story. Famous for being terrible, and one of the best lines in it is 'zombie goasts, leave this place!' and... it - it's just a thing.

[ Memeing was bad. Explaining memes is an entirely new low. ]

I know it's not accurate or whatever. Like - as far as I know you haven't eaten even a single brain.

[ He literally has to bite his lip to avoid saying "yet." It doesn't help that Jay is snickering over his shoulder like a tool. ]

[armoured]

[If he heard Jay snickering, or knew that someone else could hear their conversation, he really would be mad. Telling Clayton when he was in danger was one thing, letting someone else listen in when he's not is something else entirely.]

...the stories in your world sound really weird.

[Seriously? SERIOUSLY?]

And what have brains got to do with it?

[The undead myth hasn't evolved to brains by 1915, it's still just the flesh of other humans.]

[maskintape]

[ JAY JUST PRICKED UP HIS EARS AT INTERNET MEMES OK AL CAN CALM HIS METAPHORICAL TITS HIS SECRET IS SAFE!! ]

...zombies? They eat brains. You know what a zombie is but you don't know what they do? Come on. I'm not even a horror guy, this is - it's basic stuff.

[armoured]

That's not been in any of the legends I've heard before.

[Not that he's heard many, he was always too busy reading alchemical books to pay attention to fiction.]

The undead just feast on the flesh of the living, I suppose that includes brains but it isn't limited to them.

[maskintape]

No, you got it wrong. They eat the brains, but they bite other places so they can turn other people into zombies. It's the circle of life.

 

 

Unlife.

[armoured]

Really?

[Now he's starting to doubt his own memories, this isn't exactly his area of expertise.]

I guess I could be remembering it wrong, it's been a long time since I heard a scary story like that. Probably not since I used to sit up with Ed at night when we were little.

[maskintape]

Huh. Never would've thought you were the kind of kid to be into the spooky junk. Unless, uh - it was your brother who liked that or whatever.

[armoured]

Neither of us were really into things like that, but we read a lot and sometimes it was fun to talk about things that weren't alchemy.

[Not often, but sometimes.]

Most of the time we'd just talk about the theories we'd read that day, though. Or argue over who got the better pillow.

[maskintape]

Doesn't sound that far off what me and Jay do now, so.

That was a joke. Since half the time this stuff goes way over your head.

[armoured]

Are you sure it was a joke.

[Two can play at this teasing game.]

[maskintape]

Of course.

Jay always gets the better pillow, or he wakes up cranky.

[ a muffled "OH MY GOD TIM WHY" can be heard from a short distance away, quickly followed by one of Tim's asshole snortlaughs. WHAT A GOOD FRIEND. ]

[armoured]

[He chuckles, though he's definitely on Jay's side in this.]

Oh! That explains why you're so cranky all the time, then.

[maskintape]

Please. It'd take a goddamn four-poster bed with feather pillows to stop me being cranky.

[armoured]

You mean there is a way to do it?

[Cue an overly shocked and dramatic gasp.]

[maskintape]

Cigarettes would help too, just - just putting that out there.

[ The physical cravings might be over with, but GDIT HE MISSES HIS GROSS CANCER STICKS ]

[armoured]

If I find any then I'll make sure to save them for you.

[1915 Amestris has no problem with smoking, go right ahead and suck that cancer into your lungs, friend.]

Cigarettes and a four poster bed, I can't wait to see what you'll be like when you've had both.

[maskintape]

Heh. If we were back home, I could get you a tape. Exclusive footage of the lesser-spotted Happy Tim in its natural habitat.

[ No four-poster beds involved or anything. ]

[armoured]

I'd like to see your home one day, it must be amazing coming from a place where motion capture is so freely available.

[Amestris is so technologically backwards.]

[maskintape]

Nah. Not much different to here. Less snow. More trees. Same problems.

Absolutely nothing there worth going back to. Or - going to visit, I guess. Whatever.

[armoured]

You don't want to go home?

[Surprise bleeds through clearly, he hadn't expected Tim to feel that strongly.]

[maskintape]

Wow, uh, you didn't know? Nah, man, I'm staying here no matter what. Would've thought that was, uh. Pretty obvious. Considering.

[ He's mentioned it offhandedly to people before, and honestly thought it was an easy assumption to make. Why the hell would he want to go back there? ]

[armoured]

[That really punches him in the gut. He knew Tim's home wasn't great, but to prefer Norfinbury of all places?]

What if you didn't have to go home or stay here?

[He's already dragging Steph to Amestris. Tim might not be his all time favourite person, but he can't just abandon someone to this hell hole.]

[maskintape]

Ugh, okay, you're doing what Clarke did - Jay's dead. There's no guarantee that he won't just start - start corpsing it up again if we leave, no matter where we leave to. And now Brian's here too, so...

[ He's not leaving his dead friend. Or... whatever Brian is now. Neither of them. ]

[armoured]

[He falls into a brief troubled silence, Tim is right, he has no idea if going through to another world would cause Jay to keel over immediately.]

Then... then we'll find out, we'll make sure we understand how this works before we leave. And if it does turn out that he can't leave, then I promise that I won't leave until I know all the dangers have gone.

[He means the admin and the monsters, he can't exactly help with the snow.]