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[ CONTINUING UNABATED: ]

...a peen problem, if you will...

[He splutters, but then... two can play at this game.]

You know what? I think I need to talk to everyone too about this friend that I have. He acts all mean, but secretly he's a really nice guy and wants nothing more than for more people to make friends with.

[ oh

HELL

no. ]

You're making this too easy. You try countering with that and I just explain to people that it's part of your tragic condition: you subconsciously block out any dicks around you to avoid any reminders of your... difficulty. That's why you think I'm nice.

I'm saying I'm a dick.

That's the joke.

[This is so embarrassing, though luckily he manages to hide just how flustered he is when he replies.]

It's so sad that this person I'm talking about makes things up in order to try and make people believe they're not nice, but they! They just really want everyone to keep trying and refuse to give up making friends with them.

[ Okay, time to bring out THE BIG GUNS ]

So this kid - let's call him Blalphonse to preserve his anonymity - doesn't have an ass, either. That's why he's so preoccupied with staring at -

[ let's see, whose would be worst ]

- Spoiler's. You heard it here first, Snowhell.

W-What?!

[And the big guns hit their target, as Al is successfully distracted in mortification.]

You can't drag someone else into this! Besides, that's not true at all, I don't look at Steph's-- I don't look at Steph like that! Don't be such a pervert.

I'm just talking about Blalphonse, man. But you know what they say about protesting too much, so...

Well... Blalphonse doesn't look at her that way either.

[Huff.]

Besides, I know you wouldn't say anything like that to everyone, you know why? Because you're too nice.

[ Oh. That gets a raised eyebrow. ]

That sounds like a challenge to me. How sure are you?

[How sure is he? Not actually as sure as he could be, Tim can be kind of a jerk. But he can only give one reply. If he backs down now then it's as good as saying everything he's been saying about trust in friends is a lie.]

Totally sure.

[So there. Don't break that trust, man.]

Welp. Don't say I didn't give you any warning.

[ There's only one way to deal with this.

Tim hangs up, and a few minutes later Al gets this in his inbox: http://snowblindrpg.dreamwidth.org/616673.html ]

[Oh my god.

No.

Get out.]

[And after a few more minutes where Al tries to decipher what's been written... and is also profoundly glad that Tim hasn't actually gone to tell everyone stuff.]

...what is this?!

[ HELLO, TIM IS LAUGHING. Jay can also be heard laughing like a douche because lbr whenever Tim is being a memelord he has to involve the other person who truly appreciates such things ]

God - uh, song lyrics. Another of my world's wacky little traditions, you - you send people links to this song when they're expecting something else. Comedy gold.

[ One day he will find an instrument here and he will be able to rickroll people PROPERLY ]

[The sound of him facepalming is totally audible, but he can't help chuckle along too mostly in relief that he was right that Tim was too nice to actually go and say those things.]

The jokes of your home are really weird, you know that? But I'll try to remember for the future and save this song for then.

Whoa. No.

[ Suddenly DEADLY SERIOUS. ]

You don't call the sacred rituals of my people weird, that's like - like, blasphemy. Rickrolling is a vital part of our culture.

You just told me it was comedy, you can't change your mind and tell me it was a sacred ritual now.

[Nope. Nope. Nope.]

Besides, you're avoiding the actual truth here, and that's that I was right and you are too nice to do that.

[AND NOW HE'S HANGING UP QUICKLY so that he can win on the last word for once.]

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