wow well grats on taking the biggest and most self-pitying dump that's ever landed in my inbox
[ Honestly? Tim isn't sure where to go with this. He can't help but think of what happened between himself and Jay before he died - that awful raw-edged guilt and sense of loss. Lying and fucking up badly enough to end a friendship does hurt, and he doesn't doubt that Clayton is suffering.
Part of him (the part that told Jay to run to safety and leave him in the tunnel; the part that cried himself hoarse after learning Brian was under that hood; the part that will one day try appealing to Alex one last time before ending it all) wants to forgive. The rest of him just hurts. He's being emotionally manipulated again, isn't he? Clayton knows exactly what buttons to press. Tim categorised and labelled them for him, for fuck's sake. ]
you know what keeps people safe, big guy? not keeping secrets p sure you said something like that to ME once to get me to spill see you can cry about poor alex all you want you're right. I didn't want him dead either which is why I've spent like the last goddamn MONTH in the tunnels made sure I was heavily medicated every time I had to head out for food the one time I couldn't do that? I sent alex a message telling him to stay clear of the tunnel entrance for a few days at least because I'm not a psycho. I'm not a murderer
[ but he is. he is. he is ]
and I don't fucking appreciate being treated like one you say you were just worried about the masked guy but so what if he knew where alex was? so FUCKING what he doesn't stay in control for long not long enough to make his way to god knows where. even if he understood directions you hid this shit from ME do you know how it feels to be treated like a dangerous animal? because I do I've known since second grade and here that just doesn't happen any more sure half the population thinks I'm a mess that can't take care of myself and there's dr hotstud but people don't treat me like some ticking timebomb who's gonna go off and start tearing people open any second or I thought they didn't. shows what I know. so
no subject
well
grats on taking the biggest and most self-pitying dump that's ever landed in my inbox
[ Honestly? Tim isn't sure where to go with this. He can't help but think of what happened between himself and Jay before he died - that awful raw-edged guilt and sense of loss. Lying and fucking up badly enough to end a friendship does hurt, and he doesn't doubt that Clayton is suffering.
Part of him (the part that told Jay to run to safety and leave him in the tunnel; the part that cried himself hoarse after learning Brian was under that hood; the part that will one day try appealing to Alex one last time before ending it all) wants to forgive. The rest of him just hurts. He's being emotionally manipulated again, isn't he? Clayton knows exactly what buttons to press. Tim categorised and labelled them for him, for fuck's sake. ]
you know what keeps people safe, big guy? not keeping secrets
p sure you said something like that to ME once to get me to spill
see you can cry about poor alex all you want
you're right. I didn't want him dead either
which is why I've spent like the last goddamn MONTH in the tunnels
made sure I was heavily medicated every time I had to head out for food
the one time I couldn't do that?
I sent alex a message telling him to stay clear of the tunnel entrance for a few days at least
because I'm not a psycho. I'm not a murderer
[ but he is. he is. he is ]
and I don't fucking appreciate being treated like one
you say you were just worried about the masked guy but
so what if he knew where alex was? so FUCKING what
he doesn't stay in control for long
not long enough to make his way to god knows where. even if he understood directions
you hid this shit from ME
do you know how it feels to be treated like a dangerous animal? because I do
I've known since second grade
and here that just doesn't happen any more
sure half the population thinks I'm a mess that can't take care of myself
and there's dr hotstud
but people don't treat me like some ticking timebomb who's gonna go off and start tearing people open any second
or I thought they didn't. shows what I know. so
tl;dr eat my entire ass